Dolphin + Unicow

Werner Herzog's next film will answer the question - "And why don't superior animals like the dolphin ride unicows off into the sunset?"
Bonus cool points for saying it like Herzog would.

Moustache and Beard Mask, Crocheted

I love moustaches. I love them all. Fluffy, skinny, short, scrawny. Moustaches, moustaches, moustaches, I just can’t get enough.

I’d grow my own, but unfortunately I can’t. I while back I purchased a moustache embroidered ski mask from one of my friends. It’s completely awesome and I can’t wait for the winter months to roll around before I can wear it.

I love crocheting, especially quirky little items. Lately my beanies have been coming out a bit wonky. I do some rather nice scarves, but I don’t like handing out the same thing year after year to people.

Cue the lights!

So I’ve been seeing moustache and beard hats/masks/tie ons on some other sites, and I’ll be honest – I either couldn’t get it down or it was too complex for me. Could also be the needle and type of yarn I was using, but once you start blaming those things it’s all downhill. Generally, it’s the needle holder’s problem, he he.

I played around a bit this morning and then cranked out this moustache and beard mask. I like it! As you can tell, I’ve also been playing around with GIMP’s photo processing program. Cue the tackiness!

I usually start making something and then the more it finishes, the more I know who it should be for. Hopefully I don’t sound all pretentious and artistic and crap like that. Once I started on the moustache I realized it would be perfect for my little sister. We’re both a little quirky sometimes and I think she’ll enjoy this.

Here’s the pattern, I even remembered to pay attention and take notes while I was making it!

Ch 28
Row 1: sc (single chain) across
Row 2: sc across
Row 3: sc 9, 2 hdc (half double chain) [ch 10], 3 dc (double chain)[ch 11], 2 dc[ch12], 2 hdc[ch 13], sc[ch14], sc[ch 15], 2 hdc[ch 16], 2 dc[ch 17], 3 dc[ch 18], 2 hdc[ch 19], sc 9 [in rows 20-28].
Lemme explain that one. For the HDCs and DCs you’ll be working in the front row of the loop, not both, so the moustache poofs out of the mask. After stitch 14 you’ll be in the center, mirroring the work you did on the other side.
Row 4: sc 9, then go back DOWN into the back loops of the ones in row 3 that were worked in front loops. Hop back up to #20 in row 4 and sc remaining 9 loops across. This also helps the ‘stache poof out more.
Row 5: sc 9, ch 11, skip over ‘stache area and sc the last 9 on the other side (20-28).
Row 6: sc 9, sc in all 10 ch from the ones in row 5, sc 9
Row 7: sc
Row 8: Don’t loop, skip 2, sc 25 across, skip last 2 on end (so sides are even when they decrease)
Row 9: sc
Row 10: sc
Row 11: don’t loop, skip 2, sc 21, skip 2 on end
Row 12: sc
Row 13: sc
Row 14: sc
Row 15: don’t loop, skip 2, sc 17, skip 2 on end
Row 16: sc
Row 17: sc
Row 18: sc

I braided up 2 lengths of yarn and tied them on the first row, so they can be tied behind the head.

Done with brown Lion Brand Lion Suede yarn. Used less than entire ball. 5.00 mm H hook.

I might tweak it a little more in the future, but overall I'm rather happy with this pattern as a beginner pattern. It was very easy to come up with, and I normally have a hard time keeping track of counting while crocheting.

Silent Films are Musical at Albany Public Library

Saw a movie at Albany Public Library. Basically, they’ve got this Silent Films are Musical program going where local bands play live music to accompany a silent film. Last week Albany John, Ellsbells, and I saw BEWARE! The Other Head of Science play music to a dinosaur movie called The Lost World.

This week we saw Todd Is New Each Moment and Dead Friend accompany a movie about a guy cheating on his wife. It was called Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans Or, as the movie said – a farmer torn between his wife and a woman from the city.

The dinosaur movie was awesome. One of my friends is in BEWARE! and that is what really made me want to go. Their accompanying music was so incredibly spot on. And the graphics were very impressive for the time period, too. Heck, I thought they were impressive for the 80s. The dinosaurs looked like they were done as stop-motion claymation (think: Gumby).

Last night just Albany John and I went to see the movie and music. Two of my friends make up Todd Is New Each Moment, one of whom does not come to the area much, so I was very eager to see him.
The movie? Eh, kind of slow. Even though my friends were playing, there were moments I wanted to leave because the movie sucked so badly, but then the music became great, so I stayed.

In the end, I’m glad I did, because here is the movie in a nutshell:

Farmer Dude hangs out with City Gal all night, leaving his wife at home being all emo and weepy. Farmer Dude agrees to drown Wifey after City Gal suggests it. City Gal’s Plan for Offing Wifey: here’s some bulrushes (reeds). Tie them together and use them to float off after tossing Wifey overboard and overturning the boat to make it look like an accident.

Next day, he asks Wifey to go on a trip across the water. She is super happy and agrees. Stands with hands in front of her on boat like he’s gonna toss her, but then sits back down.

15 minutes of the movie with Wifey crying. 15 LONG ass minutes. During this time, she tries to run off or something (she is a terrible runner) and they both wind up in the city. Farmer Dude is acting like a dog with his tail between his legs during this time.

At this point I was ready to bolt. SLOW ASS PLOT DEVELOPMENT.

Then they crash a wedding.

Seriously.

They crash a wedding. And he asks her to forgive him, and all of a sudden they are magically happy.

Then they decide – “Omg, let’s get photos!”

But first “MAAAKKKEEE OVERRR!”

Okay, back to the photo shoot!

Then, they go to a circus/carnival and a pig gets loose. It ran into the fancy dancy dancing area where Farmer Dude ran after it and got it. Everyone was happy and then had them do a peasant dance. Dudes, I should have done this at my wedding – it was freaking hilarious. After they dance they just up and go over to a table and start chugging glasses of wine.

Then they boat home. Wifey passes the fuck out because she’s trashed after chugging a couple glasses of wine. Big-ass storm comes, shit gets crazy. You see where this is going, right? Waves knock the boat over. But there’s still those bulrushes so Farmer Dude ties them on to Wifey. He survives, can’t find her. Folks go searching for her. Can’t find her, so he is all sad and shit that she’s dead.

City Gal thinks he’s just acting, and is all excited that they’re gonna run away together now. She goes to see him and he tries to choke her with his gigantic mits (guy had seriously huge hands). But, OMG! Wifey is alive! Some Old Salt knew the tides and found her somewhere else.

The end.

BTW - I am trrible to see a movie with. I talk the whole time, I fidget in my seat, I check the time on my phone... yeah.

Afterward I ran into Life Of My Mouth and someone I met at Ellsbells birthday party. Then we went home and I tried to make mashed potatoes, but that didn’t work too well because I used too much milk, but I think I made them less gummy than I usually do, and I also added some leftover fresh chopped dill Albany John had used earlier. Mashed potatoes are good with dill.

Cat Sweater Vest

I Need An Orange

Chicken

Scared Lady

Beaver Lady

Twizzler Grazing Manatee

Albany Jane Arts

Albany Jane here - lately I've been feeling more artsy and creative, so I figured I'd create an art related blog to scan in crappy sketches I've done, upload photos, or just jot down some ideas to expand upon later.